Kitchen Party EP

by Rebel Yell

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A four song EP that gives you a taste of what is coming. Alternate takes of songs that have appeared or will appear on our upcoming full-length release.


released March 6, 2010

written, produced and forgotten by John Vogan & Dustin Karsin. Stand up bass played by Paul Lindell. Typewriter on Kitchen Party by Dave Streit. Mastered by Craig Boychuk




Rebel Yell Winnipeg, Manitoba

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Track Name: Kitchen Party
Kitchen Party

Critical Jim
A scratched CD doesn’t get me mad, neither does blown speakers but it will my Dad
Had the party a little loud last night, having a hard time getting the plants to stand upright
Nevermind the scratches on the wall, the prank phone calls, or the golf with baseballs
Last night I spent the night in jail, got home the same time as the guy with the mail
Speakin of mail, I just got a letter addressed to my parents sayin to raise me better
“Please don’t leave your house on the weekends, you leave your neighbors swimming in the deep end. Your Kid ignores all warnings, he plays his loud recordings, keeps us up till the early morning with his vulgar male roaring”. But it doesn’t phase me I hit the ground runnin, I’m comin lookin for the one who said something. Fuck the anonymous you got no guts, life’s a good book and you’re just the papercuts. Shave your nuts, anything can happen. I’m laughin as a cop steps into my bathroom. “Son, you’re too young to drink booze” “Officer, could you please take off yer shoes?”

El te Gringo
Hot damn ho here we go again, Gringo’s on the whiskey, Criticals’ on the gin. 581 yeah the party’s at my place, and the reggaeton beat can be heard from space. And apparently no parents are presently present, we got the bowl out and we’re scrapin the resin. And we’re about to embark on a lawless journey, with no white powder cause this isn’t Fernie. Just booze and I’m mixin it with juice. Up on the Kitchen table jamming to Footloose. Got blurred vision, party’s in the kitchen, poured another rum but I’m thinking about switchin to Vodka Cran with a splash of lime, the kitchen party’s pumping cause we’re rockin to Sublime. Bud Gaugh, Eric Wilson and Bradley a little drunk now due to shots of Brandy. Don’t worry cause I didn’t rehearse, don’t need another chorus gotta work on the verse. Workin real hard cause my day job sucks and you can’t pay the rent with monopoly bucks. Tough luck gotta think of a plan, like payin the rent with the leftover beer cans. I know its not a life of glitz and glamour but its so much fun getting hammered!

Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Get out of the basement it’s a Kitchen Party
Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Sit on the counter it’s a Kitchen Party!

Critical Jim
A fifty dollar fine can’t get me mad, but time in a cell in a youth jail can. My sis Jane complained when she had to come pick me up, but laughed when she saw me curled up fetus style with a suicide gown, tryin to sleep on a sheet made of solid ground. But it could be worse, I could be a pervert, in the re-man charged with rape and murder. Nature nurture what made me what I am? A party in the kitchen or genetic predisposition? But still, I can make a decision even if ADD won’t let me listen. Developmentally delayed, that’s what I plead so I don’t need legal aid. It all works out just like it should, its all good in the clitoris hood.

El te Gringo
I keep the beat thumpin with the half-time drums, thinking about my debt as another round comes. It’s 2 o’clock and the bar stops serving, Gringo’s on his bike driving straight not swerving. Its last call that makes Gringo so nervous, I can’t believe they’d deny him service! Now I gotta head over to the vendor to buy more beer and continue this bender. Cause this bottle of Jamie makes me dance and go crazy. Up all night with a glass of whiskey, vague memories of a cop trying to frisk me. I can’t recall what I said or did, but I realize now I took it all for granted. So freshen up and get out the mess, you don’t need the booze to relieve your stress.

Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Get out of the basement it’s a Kitchen Party
Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Sit on the counter it’s a Kitchen Party!
Track Name: 15-2 15-4 and a pair is 6 (honkytonk)
15-2 15-4 and a Pair is 6 (honkytonk)

Critical Jim
When yer rockin a dope set, so dope it’d make the pope wet, the pros get vexed and you haven’t hit a note yet. The drums hum like the mortar of the mason, you all run like you’re border chasin. Lack of sleep is a poor motivator, don’t drink the coffee cause I wanna sleep later. Haircuts, tattoos and rad shoes, embellish the good and hide the bad news.

Lack of Sleep is a poor motivator, don’t drink the coffee cause I wanna sleep later

El te Gringo
It’s just another new venue in a far off town, we spent the last half an hour drivin around
Cause there’s no shelter from the sun when you’re lookin for shade, if it’s a free show do I still get paid?
He’s sponsored and they just got an offer and we’re all high on shrooms takin Zoom to the doctor. Punk rocker and I’m livin on your floor, I seriously don’t know if I can do this anymore.

I’ve been eatin lots of chips and cans of beans, the gas station sinks’ the only place to get clean. I only got two shirts and the first ones’ ripped, still I pick up more chicks than you ever did.

Critical Jim & El te Gringo
Just give me a dope-ass, toe-tappin beat and a pen and a notepad and an internet leak and I’m world famous live from my parents basement, with no bills no money for my skills. Cause the CDs are free and the media and me seem to disagree on everything from a to z. Like a song ain’t a song unless we all sing along and you figure how to cut it down to three minutes long. So selling CDs to your mom won’t last too long when you’re looking for a career that’ll get you more than free beer. Pension? No such invention more like a wrench in my hand fixin the band van. The internet is an essential tool to reach your target market. So I’m on the computer more than a fan of warcraft.

Sore back head neck and feet from moving gear, the beer, and sleepin in a captain’s seat.
Track Name: Roadhouse Blues (acoustic)
Roadhouse Blues (acoustic)

El Te Gringo
Red Blanket gets rave reviews and all we do is sit around and drink the booze
An experimental group comin straight off the streets
Half the congregation don’t eat the meat
We like to think, eat, drink, sleep and don’t forget the ladies
You’ll find me on the dancefloor rockin to the 80’s
Or recovering in bed, I was so damn drunk I can’t remember what I said
I think I said I loved you, I didn’t really mean it
I should get back on the dancefloor they’re rockin to Beat It
Cause I can moonwalk pretty well after a couple of drinks
Look at my moves I don’t care what this chick thinks!
Critical Jim
If it’s the last chance at the romance dance
Then I’mma get fuckin liquored and piss my pants
because I drink like I drive but not at the same time
Cause a namesake of mine wound up dyin
If its affordable drinks then you know I’m gonna bury ya
You wake up in the morning with a case of malaria
On a whim Te and Critical Jim outta this place
With a grin I say swim the sharks and then embrace!

El Te Gringo
Jump in the taxi and say “sat sri akal!”
He says “how ya doin” then I say “Tika!”
I learned Punjabi from a fellow compadre
Holy fuck no homey man this is a one way!
My house is just up the street to the right
581 the roadhouse with the red light
Just hit the beerstore everythings allright
You can come on in, we’ll be partying all night

Critical Jim
Cut the chase it’s 3am and no one parents us
Crack open a beer and zooms’ already embarrassed us
I love the fuckin guy and he writes great riffs (he forgets them and I steal em)
Shit I kick myself everytime I throw him a diss
But this is Christmas this chick named Krista
Is givin me kisses like she was away and she missed us
But when she calls me to no end, oh man I gotta change my phone number again!

El Te Gringo
And now all these drinks add up at once
And I haven’t been this fucked in a coupla months
And the toilets lookin better than it ever damn did
Its even lookin better than my best friend Syd (that’d be a lady!)
And I should just sit back maybe have a cup of water
Don’t look like Bobowski he’s a fuckin goner! (Leroy!)
Vitamin A, C, D move on to multivitamins
Wake up in the morning and do it all again!
Track Name: Table Service (slow service)
Table Service (slow service)

Critical Jim
Table service, the way you’re lookin at me makes me nervous. The more I work the more I lack purpose. A phenomenal economical model, waitin tables for a dollar and a quarter. Pride is giving me a swallowing disorder. A bald headed man in a convertible talking dirty to girls expecting tips for their tits not a number in their booklets. “Go see for me if my steak is cooked yet”. He says he likes it medium rare with a seedy stare, make a bad joke don’t laugh see if I care. A corporate credit card covering all the food “split off the rest my perdium has got the booze and no tip for you cause I’m 52 and back in my day I took a lick or two.” But no stress, you’re hanging with the waitress and your balls get bigger for every comment that’s tasteless. Another girl, its calamari no tentacles, how bout your demands make me wanna shred my genitals? Happy Birthday! I think I’ll have an aneurysm, go back to your car and find an act of vandalism. Why don’t you do what you love? When money gives you a push give it a shove. Why don’t you do what you love? When money gives you a push give it a shove. I try to greet your family with service and a smile but your daughter’s breasts and thighs are magnets to my eyes. Its hard to hide the dollar signs in my eyes when a guitar called Les Paul is all I got on my mind. Table service the way you’re looking at me makes me nervous when your daughter looks like Jamie Lee Curtis. Table service the way you’re looking at me makes me nervous. You’ve been waiting for this table for 15 minutes, I’ve been waiting just as long for your bitching to finish. My hypothesis, your requests are limitless when you’re showing interest in the temp of the Guinness. Your soup is cold, the tuna fish is fishy. Does the bar have enough whiskey to lessen my stress as I count my doe? No wonder half the industry lives off blow. Table Service.

El te Gringo
Table service, this waiters’ inexperienced and nervous I can tell from the moment he started to serve us. As he cracks the wine bottle its comical waiting tables for a dollar and a quarter, I laughed when he was takin my order. He’s a geeky teen keeping my table clean, but its been ten minutes since he’s last been seen. Expecting tips but he’s pissed cause the hostess seated us at the end of his shift, catch my drift I’m getting ripped. So go see for me if my rye is pressed yet, the guy doesn’t even have his cutlery set yet. A wet cigarette, he’s met outback by the waitress, pass me the salt cause this place is tasteless. I’ve been here before they all seem the same, hot chicks with big tits that got no brains. And the ethics of this place is slowly murdering me “I’m only two months away from my free breast surgery”. Now the manager comes by, he’s actin like my best friend, “how bout that weather? Got plans for the weekend?” He cops me a gift card, smiles half hearted. “Is this server new here?” “Yes, he just started” Well his timing is off, and his knowledge is lacking. I think that you’d be better off just sending him packing. Cause I came here for a nice meal with my sweetheart, instead I end up talking to this cheesetart. And you try to greet my family with service and a smile but my kids are confused by your metrosexual style. You use like five times in a ten word sentence, I should get my grandma to give you grammar lessons. Please don’t touch my back and stop saying awesome, your fake personality matches your fuckin costume. Table service, I’d rather have a packed lunch and thermos. And I’ve been sittin at this table for an hour and a half, what’s the qualifications for hiring staff? You need more servers on the floor you better suit up the two hosts that are workin the door. The kids are crying the wife is pissed, do you even realize that I exist? I know you just wanna take my money and spend, that why I’m never coming to this restaurant again!