Social Studies

by Rebel Yell

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released April 1, 2011

All songs written and recorded by John Vogan and Dustin Karsin. Mixed and Mastered by Craig Boychuk at CB Audio.




Rebel Yell Winnipeg, Manitoba

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Track Name: World Famous
My humour some say is caustic, my friends think that I’ve lost it
Sold my soul for a little rock n roll, and I’m just bitter cause I paid more than it costed

I don’t rap about deceased police nor do I rock my black Dickies with a cuff and a crease
I don’t pre-write rhymes, or commit crimes, I’m on my way by bike and I’m headin down to Times
Slightly insane in the pouring rain as I bust a left on Main, now I’m cruising in the bus lane
I plant my soles and I’m greeted by Scoles, cause I’m using tonight to try to reverse the roles

Roles reversed. verse 2. Engaged – married. Deceased – buried. Another action to react to.
Baby I’m on the feel good diet. From South Beach to Atkins to twice recycled knapkins.

Tired of drinkin my legs weaken I stop thinkin. My tires leakin I’m freakin beakin and now i’m reakin.
Hardly speakin now i’m peakin on the weekend thinkin. She’s winkin but my boats sinkin.
Roles reversed as I cuss and curse. I put nuts in your purse and call my mom or a nurse.
Cause this drinkin is getting old, Its the wrong route that’s what I’ve been told.

World famous live from my parents basement. I’m post-modern, post-consumer sovereign.
So lawless I work at the post office. And I don’t lick the stamps cause that shits for the novice

I gotta finish this verse before I finish work cause Gringos on the phone fuckin drivin me berserk (JERK!)
Keep a stiff upper lip on quality control, same thing six tracks in gets old.
People hear me and the G they wanna be the beneficiary
we put it all together with a rhyming dictionary, Ha! Sucker!
Eat that for breakfast lunch and supper, easy like your girlfriend last summer

I always hear these rappers rhyming about the ghetto, but I grew up in the Burbs listenin to metal
Rode my BMX and kept my broken skate decks, never had no parole officer doin random checks!

Smack of a mallet I diversify your palette . You won’t trickle back to the same old Nickelback
Expand your taste from beer liquor to wine, you go from pack lunch to brunch to fine dine.
Cruise like a missile comin off a bicycle, single speed to the next thing you need
Its not what you need or what you have or what you want
Just ask the man that can bake his own croissant

I’m drinkin beer liquor and wine. A Lowenbrau, a Malbec, a bottle of Ballantine
I think it’s fine to sip the wine, but I gotta say no when you ask to snort a line.
Track Name: 15-2 15-4 and a Pair is 6
Critical Jim
When yer rockin a dope set, so dope it’d make the pope wet, the pros get vexed and you haven’t hit a note yet. The drums hum like the mortar of the mason, you all run like you’re border chasin. Lack of sleep is a poor motivator, don’t drink the coffee cause I wanna sleep later. Haircuts, tattoos and rad shoes, embellish the good and hide the bad news.

Lack of Sleep is a poor motivator, don’t drink the coffee cause I wanna sleep later

El te Gringo
It’s just another new venue in a far off town, we spent the last half an hour drivin around
Cause there’s no shelter from the sun when you’re lookin for shade, if it’s a free show do I still get paid?
He’s sponsored and they just got an offer and we’re all high on shrooms takin Zoom to the doctor. Punk rocker and I’m livin on your floor, I seriously don’t know if I can do this anymore.

I’ve been eatin lots of chips and cans of beans, the gas station sinks’ the only place to get clean. I only got two shirts and the first ones’ ripped, still I pick up more chicks than you ever did.

Critical Jim & El te Gringo
Just give me a dope-ass, toe-tappin beat and a pen and a notepad and an internet leak and I’m world famous live from my parents basement, with no bills no money for my skills. Cause the CDs are free and the media and me seem to disagree on everything from a to z. Like a song ain’t a song unless we all sing along and you figure how to cut it down to three minutes long. So selling CDs to your mom won’t last too long when you’re looking for a career that’ll get you more than free beer. Pension? No such invention more like a wrench in my hand fixin the band van. The internet is an essential tool to reach your target market. So I’m on the computer more than a fan of warcraft.

Sore back head neck and feet from moving gear, the beer, and sleepin in a captain’s seat.
Track Name: Kill em All
You make the virus I’ll make the vaccine
Now let’s time it right so that I can make it seem that I just invent it as the pandemic spreads
And I’ll take all the credit when I sell it to the Feds.
Who takes what inherently yours and take you to court when they put it in stores?
Who’s livin off of less than a dollar a day? Who makes the Money? ME!
What was water in an aquifer belongs to the Chief Executive Officer
Used to be free now it costs you a fee, ain’t that right? Mos Definitely!!
Bite the bullet from the trigger when they pull it
You’re not the target just a victim of the market
Kill Em All and let God sort em out, isn’t that what the fuck the free markets’ all about?
Whether you believe Adam and Eve is usually how they choose the teams
Hit the on switch for conflict
Load up the guns as big as the young ones that wear them on their arms like they’re in the army of God
Who reports this? Who contorts this to fit? The long drawn story of a bomb
historical discourse, the fight over a resource, the confused mind says no so let’s just let it go
Cause this magazine sells to the advertising, that’s what I like to call profit maximizing
How could the press miss this? There’s a vested interest. The bottom line is that it’s not good business!
We give them bad press, our sponsor is gone. We’ll be paying the bills with monthly telethons
So sit back relax and watch another Seinfeld, while we change the opinion like a Vulcan Mindmeld

Natural Disasters ain’t so natural no more
It ain’t thievery with a key to the front door
Shred up the files cause they’re lookin for the paper trail
Blackmale as the oil kills the blue whale
Burn it off cause it’s heading for the sandy shores, we plastic wrap it up and we sell it in stores
One last crisis to separate the masses, create a disconnect just like they did the classes
Foggy glasses can’ t make out the scenario as the same hit song comes blastin through your stereo
My Mom says they won’t budge. Don’t need a speedo beach is covered in sludge
Haz-Mat suits have now replaced the bikini, with a gas mask on it’s hard to sip my martini
Buy a dinghy, you’ll soon make use of it. Paddle upstream to the beaches of Nunavut
Who reports this? Coppertone endorses a Northern Sunbelt, as Canada’s ice melts
Just like a whiskey left sittin for too long, gets watered down like a radio love song.
What’s wrong with appealing to the masses? It pays the bills and empties the beer glasses

And I drink the water that comes straight from the tap
And I W-I-N-N-I peg a tack on the door of the man who makes the bills and acts
The ones who decide how to spend my income tax

Jim & Gringo

Don’t make plans for the money that you don’t have
The bar breaks your legs when you can’t pay the tab
or foreclose your house when you can’t make the payments
Your boss takes your benefits and days vacations
Grow a pair of balls for the golden era withdrawal
Get sacked and smacked with an air assault missile
The industry say the less government the better
But will always say yes to the bailout cheddar
Letter by letter the alphabet been bought for me
I use it in my raps, my intellectual property
Unfair? How bout I copyright the snare?
The guitar tone and the color of my hair?
I could’ve been a medic, been rich and athletic
But instead I studied aesthetics and exploited the pathetic
But now I’m on the music, the beats, the tunes
You know longer need to be confused
Cause you make the virus and i’ll make the vaccine
You make the beats and i’ll sell the tambourines
You spill the oil and Ill sell the clean vehicles
You make em depressed and I’ll sell them something meaningful
Prescribe the Viagra and I’ll be the topless dancer
You cause the cancer and I’ll be the only answer
You make em chubby and I’ll sell the diet drugs
You ask the questions and I’ll be the guy that shrugs
Cause no one needs to know that the two of us are in cahoots
Lets just make a target and we’ll sell the gun that shoots
Millions can be made with no colluding to show for
Natural Disasters ain’t so natural no more.
Track Name: Table Service (fast food)
Critical Jim
Table service, the way you’re lookin at me makes me nervous. The more I work the more I lack purpose. A phenomenal economical model, waitin tables for a dollar and a quarter. Pride is giving me a swallowing disorder. A bald headed man in a convertible talking dirty to girls expecting tips for their tits not a number in their booklets. “Go see for me if my steak is cooked yet”. He says he likes it medium rare with a seedy stare, make a bad joke don’t laugh see if I care. A corporate credit card covering all the food “split off the rest my perdium has got the booze and no tip for you cause I’m 52 and back in my day I took a lick or two.” But no stress, you’re hanging with the waitress and your balls get bigger for every comment that’s tasteless. Another girl, its calamari no tentacles, how bout your demands make me wanna shred my genitals? Happy Birthday! I think I’ll have an aneurysm, go back to your car and find an act of vandalism. Why don’t you do what you love? When money gives you a push give it a shove. Why don’t you do what you love? When money gives you a push give it a shove. I try to greet your family with service and a smile but your daughter’s breasts and thighs are magnets to my eyes. Its hard to hide the dollar signs in my eyes when a guitar called Les Paul is all I got on my mind. Table service the way you’re looking at me makes me nervous when your daughter looks like Jamie Lee Curtis. Table service the way you’re looking at me makes me nervous. You’ve been waiting for this table for 15 minutes, I’ve been waiting just as long for your bitching to finish. My hypothesis, your requests are limitless when you’re showing interest in the temp of the Guinness. Your soup is cold, the tuna fish is fishy. Does the bar have enough whiskey to lessen my stress as I count my doe? No wonder half the industry lives off blow. Table Service.

El te Gringo
Table service, this waiters’ inexperienced and nervous I can tell from the moment he started to serve us. As he cracks the wine bottle its comical waiting tables for a dollar and a quarter, I laughed when he was takin my order. He’s a geeky teen keeping my table clean, but its been ten minutes since he’s last been seen. Expecting tips but he’s pissed cause the hostess seated us at the end of his shift, catch my drift I’m getting ripped. So go see for me if my rye is pressed yet, the guy doesn’t even have his cutlery set yet. A wet cigarette, he’s met outback by the waitress, pass me the salt cause this place is tasteless. I’ve been here before they all seem the same, hot chicks with big tits that got no brains. And the ethics of this place is slowly murdering me “I’m only two months away from my free breast surgery”. Now the manager comes by, he’s actin like my best friend, “how bout that weather? Got plans for the weekend?” He cops me a gift card, smiles half hearted. “Is this server new here?” “Yes, he just started” Well his timing is off, and his knowledge is lacking. I think that you’d be better off just sending him packing. Cause I came here for a nice meal with my sweetheart, instead I end up talking to this cheesetart. And you try to greet my family with service and a smile but my kids are confused by your metrosexual style. You use like five times in a ten word sentence, I should get my grandma to give you grammar lessons. Please don’t touch my back and stop saying awesome, your fake personality matches your fuckin costume. Table service, I’d rather have a packed lunch and thermos. And I’ve been sittin at this table for an hour and a half, what’s the qualifications for hiring staff? You need more servers on the floor you better suit up the two hosts that are workin the door. The kids are crying the wife is pissed, do you even realize that I exist? I know you just wanna take my money and spend, that why I’m never coming to this restaurant again!
Track Name: Rookie Move
Rookie Move

Slept in first day, fuckin mayhem, set your alarm from 7pm instead of AM
Rookie Move
Show up at the rink getting ready for the game, anybody got a spare roll of sock tape?
Rookie Move
At the show you broke a string, didn’t bring a spare set, your first song isn’t even finished yet
Rookie Move
You left your pitching wedge on the fringe of the green, didn’t realize till you got to the next tee
Rookie Move

You’re tryin to use a condom and it rips, because you didn’t pinch the reservoir tip
Rookie Move
Offf to the cottage think you got enough booze, three hours later you’re drinkin Brad’s Blues
Rookie Move
Flushing toilet paper in a third world country, bathrooms are flooding daily, weekly, monthly
Rookie Move
You finally finish you’re 500 page thesis, you lose it all when your computer freezes
Rookie Move

You’re tryin to be someone, you’re trying to get things done
You don’t know what you’re doing, So you pull a rookie move
We know its your first time, so you won’t get it right
You don’t know what to do, rookie move

You’re Lost in the woods and you need to take a shit, you wipe with poison ivy now you’re covered in it – Rookie Move
you’re gonna fuck up your new truck real fast, putting diesel in instead of regular gas
Rookie Move
“Dude i’m so stoked on these sick powder days” Get off the chairlift and you plant your face
rookie move
Exam is at 9 show up a half hour later, uh shit can i borrow a calculator?
Rookie move
Track Name: Florida Tracksuit
Rebel Yell’s got alot to prove as we reinvent the wheel and re-establish the groove
But we ain’t out lookin for the fortune and fame you know its all a gamble when its just a game
But we often do cause we’re drinkin more than you and in another two shots you’ll forget my name too. But we cut the loss cause we’re hanging with Jordan Ross, roll up to the jukebox and pick The Boss. Jon Voss snapped photos at our last two shows, i give a couple shout outs to some real good bros. Gringo knows if you lie your nose grows, so we ain’t rockin ice, packin heat or getting cornrows. Pass the poi mahalo, move your hips and follow, get drunk, slow dance let me see you swallow shots of Jack, shots of Beam, shots of liquor. Do it before the beer or you’ll never be sicker.

Jimmy busts in with no delay, be real serious like a photo take. My mind, mine is gone but i make mad money like i mowed the lawn. Later on, the liver quivers when I giver a shiver of a stroll up shit river. Oops i think you mean a creek. Working seven days makes one week. One liners i steal em all the time, not the dingers but the witty kind. With me its always a fine line between fun and having a shitty time. Let me reiterate infront of a magistrate, tell her i think about her when i masturbate. Lacking taste? Or lacking a laughing face? Sit at my table, use your manners and say. Pass the poi maholo, the ignorant can follow, get drunk piss your pants, let me see you hallow a bottle of jack, a bottle of Beam, a bottle of Liquor, do it before the beer or you’ll never be sicker.

Now Gringo busts in after a little delay, the hi-hats open and the hips start to sway. Thoughts stray cause you’re drinking Bombay, so slam another drink back or get out the way. Cause the lines long and my pockets aint deep and it aint no secret that drinking aint cheap. Plus the bartenders here are slows as snails, they’re back from their break hopped up on rails. I don’t need this shameful recess, i’d rather stay home and work on my thesis. My niece is eatin Reece’s Pieces time to clean up and iron out the creases. Dad’s calling and he’s requesting action but i’m a night owl hunting satisfaction. A small faction like half a fraction, we’re out of control and we’re lacking traction

Errrrrr!! My tires screech and you can hear it from Grand Beach, the bad tattooed dudes look and see me, Critical Jim, 97 Civic with no rims, look real good beside your pimped out Lincoln. Drink a beer live a bit, I don’t litter I’m illiterate. But i got a vocabulary like the math of an actuary, the gears turn while you chat on your blackberry. Disturb the peace like the Winnipeg Police. Know who to grease in the boardroom seats. She says she’s over me, she doesn’t listen to her ovaries. I don’t need this shameful recces, i rather stay at home and work on my thesis. I don’t need this he said, she said, sexist, racist and the wasted.
Track Name: Riffin & Rappin
Riffin and rappin like biggie smalls and eric Clapton
you make my coulds can’ts then ask me to dance like micheal Jackson
enough irreverence let me vent a run on sentence
without a source or reference let gringo give me suggestions
So rebel yell how ya balancing the check book?
Gringo’s readin the textbook Jim’s workin on the next hook
soon it’ll switch to the G bein leed certified and Jim tellin people to try the stifry
Cough up the bucks cough up the bucks
why does it cost so much to fill up my monster truck?
Lost his luck like a tooth to the hockey puck
pray to dog i don’t turn out dyslexic...fuck!
invest in us we’re full of talent and inner balance
but loading gear on time for us is still a challenge
Rebel yell sets record liquor sales at every venue played to date it doesn’t fail
nobody’s seen us sober. Nobody wants to chauffer
nobody with buddies even want to invite us over
cause we bring the pukers, the drunks, the looters. The punks, the drugs, the nerds the shooters

Let it linger like a middle finger to the lead singer
of the worst bringer of shit rock to my speakers
Written for radio the morse code beeper more concerned with the brand of my sneaker
put on the chucks not the reeboks, the adidas for the detox
big shoes to fill you need three socks
shitty joke you tell to everyone you meet
you like to pull the chair when they’re about to take a seat
That’s immature, i think i might limit your ability to speak when yer over the limit sir
breath test, alcohol in excess, slight slur on the blurry story of success
I wrote a rap on a knapkin how natural disasters can happen
Like riffin and rappin with jimmy page eric b and rakim
So leave the classic albums for when yer poppin valiums
the Italian stallion should stay in the used movie value bin
I share a city with Burton Cummings
it so becoming to see him here and there i thought id show him something
I started singin American woman at perfect pitch
He looked at me and i said “what you don’t like Lenny Kravitz?”
(thanks marc!)
Track Name: So Long and Thanks for all the Booze
I don`t drink coffee unless it isn’t decaf. I got big hands and the girls call them meat slabs. My name isn`t Ike but my lady`s name is Tina, she`s 5`7 and her dog`s name is Trine. I used to wear band shirts now I wear beer shirts, I used to play loud, now my fuckin ears hurt. I used to steal money from my band`s bank account, now i got a credit card with an unpaid amount. It`s minus 43 and my Honda has no heat, hopin that it starts when i turn the key. With no gas in it I exceed the speed limit and smile for the image that proves that I did it. I don`t snort coke but I like the smell of it, I say dumb shit but i`m pretty intelligent. I wrote a story called Morning Glory, how the ex`s effects lets no one ignore me! Of course I only do that from time to time, cause i hear that spinal fluid is a hard thing to find. On the weeknights i like to sit at home and watch the wire, on the weekends i tend to set myself on fire. Friday night call up Park see where he`s at `hey by i`m sleepin on the couch i`ll call ya back` Call gringo to go hit the studio with me ``sorry Jimmy i got a meeting with the city`` Call Steve see if he`s hitting the bar ``Man i`m watching old footage of brett favre`` Call dicktones wanna kick it with Jim Critical? “The marginal benefit of another beer is minimal”. I’ve had enough with my family and friends, they look at my means and question my ends. Tina’s busy studying the colonials, i find myself watching Bowflex testimonials.

This is all just a little ridiculous, rollin around on stage ain’t too inconspicuous. You think time would’ve told the truth and kicked my ass out of this recording booth. Gettin old and a little washed up, ????????? but remain pumped up. New songs on a new cd that try to describe the best of John and me. Still getting paid in food and bar tabs, and Johnny keeps receipts for the Toronto car cabs. Touring around in an old red van, can’t afford the gas but do the best we can. 15 years now in the bag, and i can still remember playing ozzy’s with brad. All the old bands we used to like have quit. Suicide songs dead with their wrists slit. Rebel Yell’s like a bottle of booze, gets you right out of that shitty mood. Thanks john for always dealing with the Gringo i think its about time we got our first hit single. Maybe not but its still been fun to play and record all the songs we’ve sung. I don’t relate to the radio cheese and i could used more Hannah on the airwaves please. Riverdale high and the smalls are done, choke broke up, All’s last song sung. Are we next in the sad long line of bands that die far before their time. I hope not cause our style is still fresh and we could be the band to come and clean the mess. Cause propagandhi still plays today, they’re not burning out they’re not fading away.
Track Name: Thirsty Thursdays
I don’t know my screws and i don’t know my nuts and bolts. And when the marshal blows i wish i’d known my ohms, amps and volts. What is this business with Mr. Multipurposes? Its hard to be an eagle when its seagulls i’m working with. Manly man makin more than 100 grand tax free and I record on a Tascam. I love how he reacts when the subcontractor backs out of his work day, does he really deserve the pay? Nay. As his hair goes grey, he has no time to spend the money that he makes. His old lady is fuckin the neighbours daily but he doesn’t care he married her cause she carried his baby. She’s up at 6, he’s up at 5:45, he doesn’t need to be but avoids her on his morning drive. And every trip up north is a temporary divorce, the bitter bullshitter has gotta have a moustache. And you and me its to his bullshit that we listen. I just got my degree and you just got out of prison. Fuck getting educated academic scholar, another day, another thousand dollars. The boss is watching, wondering what you’re up to. Sometimes you fuck the dog, sometimes the dog fucks you. Early in the morning i’m a miserable cunt, so i don’t pack a lunch and haven’t done it in months. So send the new guy to Timmy Ho’s he knows its ten double doubles and breakfast bagels to go. Mental Fatigue, physical exhaustion, zen and the art of working construction. My old lady waits, wondering why i won’t call her, another day another thousand dollars. I got a moustache and a plaid collar, another day another thousand dollars.

I haven’t wrote a rap rhyme in about four weeks and me and critical jim now we don’t speak and we only conversate though text and email with the subject of the conversation: Business Details. Cause my life is not what you are thinking, i do not have a severe problem with the drinking. I’m just a student with little responsibility, i gotta pass this class so i can gain some credibility and put a couple letters right after the name Karsin, then i’ll roll in dough like i committed grand Larson. Working on my undergrad, graduate with honours, another day another thousand dollars. In high school i used to cut all of my classes, my teacher said i would turn out a hopeless bastard. Now my prof says that i should go and do my master’s and learn how to remediate after natural disasters. My class starts at 9am, not religious studies, not bio or chem.. Nope. Come ten i got a spare or two and i’ll spend it in Dafoe writing raps about you. Fabutanned skin with a new pair of kicks, chill all afternoon in Degrees pickin up chicks. Cause who need a degree when tuition is free? I agree. Overdue books in the back of an SUV. And i know it aint no anarchist retreat, but the crowd on here at campus, their ethics are pretty weak. Acting wreckless in a puka necklace often sleeping through your mom’s egg and bagel breakfast. Mark it off the checklist: a straw cowboy hat, and a mickey the size of Texas.
Track Name: Playing Catch with Vibes
Elastic sock wrapped around my massive cock like Anthony Kiedis back when he was classic rock. Fuck classic rock its sold for 80 bucks a pop by the kid in the exco hoodie outside of the liquor shop. Speaking of liquor i’m starting to feel sicker cause my snifter is filled with piss and vinegar, and i need to administer a solution to my problem, the problem is i can’t admit that i got one. So dance dance dance and think you got a chance with the girl in the tight white pants. David Lee Roth, he gives good advice now and then, “its not who wants to sleep with you, its who wants to sleep with you again” so spend, spend, spend a little time on the line between foe and friend of mine. Enzymes, digesting ten times the fat that a cardiac arrest can get by. The problem with reality is that it lacks reality, lacks sensuality, packs the mentality you’re getting paid for everything you say. You never really mean it, you’re thinkin with your penis man.
2 cubes of ice and some Jim Beam in a snifter keeps my insides warm cause its Winnipeg in winter. I don’t do Christmas so i’m not a regifter and i’m not in a position of power so i’m not a shapeshifter. Cause Davide Icke raised me on rice and beans, cause the truth will set you free, know what i mean? And i’v e lately been busy climbin the pyramid of power, i’m half drunk now screamin against me! In the shower. And the pints of Guinness, yeah they flow through my veins cause i was raised on the poison of Iron maiden and Night trains and don’t forget Bad Brains and NOFX and the fact that i’m known for OE’s and bouncing checks. Flat chest with no regrets like the one you knew in junior high, one by the opposite sex.
Two in the dark set if off treat their bodies like amusement parks. The only person speaking English in a titty bar, accomplishing everything on a mental checklist that’s ever given this adolescent erections. Set in a room full of mirrors, LCD TV screen so clear utters words that if your mother heard would burst to tears, but for the pervert, its the dessert of the year. The Rico Suave, the puta madre, gets around more than a morning mate. Feeling guilty? Gotta realize its only once in a lifetime. Soy un perro, but i spend no dinero so i’m clean as a pre-teen’s dream of Kim Thayil. Guitar God’s hook up with bizarre broads, you can’t predict this shit with a stack of tarot cards. You cant predict whats legit when the shit hits the fan, but i know that i’ll do it again and again and again. Wake up in the morning, whats my name again? Feelin like a million pesos or 350,000 Canadian, don’t you know your currencies?
I make my tips and i spend em on booze cause i live my life like i got nothing to lose. No RRSPs, no credit, no pension as my student loan debt fills my body with tension . Did i mention the CRA? Sending out agents to get me to pay? What can i say i don’t answer the phone and when the doorbell rings i’m not at home.
Track Name: Alter Ego
I like to drive to cosco on twenty inch rims, hit the wal-mart and drive-thru Tim’s. Support slave labour, spend my money on the weekend, head to the beach or the cottage for the weekend. (did you just rhyme weekend with weekend?) I like anarchist books and fair trade coffee, you’ll find me in Mondragon, reading Noam Chomsky. Dressed in black with a mask to match, unlocking my bike from a downtown bike rack. Sittin at the wood with a dollar in my hand, looking for a woman thats lookin for a man.
I have no notion of what i look like when i’m out in public, my favourite sweatpants torn in the ass, morning crusties left on my moustache. I just waxed my ass, my balls and my chest, i’m going for a tan and then hit the benchpress. My hair is lookin tight, my teeth are clean, before i sleep at night i thank the lord for creatine. I’m comin straight outta Frankfurt, long black hair, black shirt. Alot nicer than i look, i like to curl up at night with a Harry potter book.
I don’t need no experience, a bachelor’s degree, i’m just wainting for the money trickle down the family tree. I’m daddy’s only child golfing at noon on a Friday, two beers cracked and i’m drivin down the highway.
I came back from hockey i’m guzzling a dozen Old Milaukees, feelin cocky and i’m in a band. Cold tin held in my hand but not for long cause i demand a few more to protect this buzz, cause i’m not going to sleep. So take my car keys and don’t call me no cab. Cause i’ll be up all night getting as drunk as my dad. When i was a kid you know he taught me alright, how to drink and dance and fuckin party all night.
Track Name: Kitchen Party (Manchuk Mix)
Critical Jim
A scratched CD doesn’t get me mad, neither does blown speakers but it will my Dad
Had the party a little loud last night, having a hard time getting the plants to stand upright
Nevermind the scratches on the wall, the prank phone calls, or the golf with baseballs
Last night I spent the night in jail, got home the same time as the guy with the mail
Speakin of mail, I just got a letter addressed to my parents sayin to raise me better
“Please don’t leave your house on the weekends, you leave your neighbors swimming in the deep end. Your Kid ignores all warnings, he plays his loud recordings, keeps us up till the early morning with his vulgar male roaring”. But it doesn’t phase me I hit the ground runnin, I’m comin lookin for the one who said something. Fuck the anonymous you got no guts, life’s a good book and you’re just the papercuts. Shave your nuts, anything can happen. I’m laughin as a cop steps into my bathroom. “Son, you’re too young to drink booze” “Officer, could you please take off yer shoes?”

El te Gringo
Hot damn ho here we go again, Gringo’s on the whiskey, Criticals’ on the gin. 581 yeah the party’s at my place, and the reggaeton beat can be heard from space. And apparently no parents are presently present, we got the bowl out and we’re scrapin the resin. And we’re about to embark on a lawless journey, with no white powder cause this isn’t Fernie. Just booze and I’m mixin it with juice. Up on the Kitchen table jamming to Footloose. Got blurred vision, party’s in the kitchen, poured another rum but I’m thinking about switchin to Vodka Cran with a splash of lime, the kitchen party’s pumping cause we’re rockin to Sublime. Bud Gaugh, Eric Wilson and Bradley a little drunk now due to shots of Brandy. Don’t worry cause I didn’t rehearse, don’t need another chorus gotta work on the verse. Workin real hard cause my day job sucks and you can’t pay the rent with monopoly bucks. Tough luck gotta think of a plan, like payin the rent with the leftover beer cans. I know its not a life of glitz and glamour but its so much fun getting hammered!

Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Get out of the basement it’s a Kitchen Party
Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Sit on the counter it’s a Kitchen Party!

Critical Jim
A fifty dollar fine can’t get me mad, but time in a cell in a youth jail can. My sis Jane complained when she had to come pick me up, but laughed when she saw me curled up fetus style with a suicide gown, tryin to sleep on a sheet made of solid ground. But it could be worse, I could be a pervert, in the re-man charged with rape and murder. Nature nurture what made me what I am? A party in the kitchen or genetic predisposition? But still, I can make a decision even if ADD won’t let me listen. Developmentally delayed, that’s what I plead so I don’t need legal aid. It all works out just like it should, its all good in the clitoris hood.

El te Gringo
I keep the beat thumpin with the half-time drums, thinking about my debt as another round comes. It’s 2 o’clock and the bar stops serving, Gringo’s on his bike driving straight not swerving. Its last call that makes Gringo so nervous, I can’t believe they’d deny him service! Now I gotta head over to the vendor to buy more beer and continue this bender. Cause this bottle of Jamie makes me dance and go crazy. Up all night with a glass of whiskey, vague memories of a cop trying to frisk me. I can’t recall what I said or did, but I realize now I took it all for granted. So freshen up and get out the mess, you don’t need the booze to relieve your stress.

Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Get out of the basement it’s a Kitchen Party
Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Kitchen Party Sit on the counter it’s a Kitchen Party!